Tuesday, October 23, 2007
11:30 p.m. thoughts
As i once again desperately try to fall asleep, i can not. It has been this way for a while. I can't sleep, oh no, my mind has other thoughts, other plans,other ideas. I try to sleep but im constantly thinking, dreaming, wishing, praying, crying, etc. I don't really know why, well i do but i don't feel like posting it in public. But i don't know the whole reason. I recently found some one who grew up with the same opportunity as me, except theres fell through, mine crashed an burned! Now they are know by thousands, are on websites and online ads, and etc., as i sit here, still wondering what it would have been like for me if I to had been able to fall through with the opportunity. Now all hope for it is gone, and I must start a new dream, a new path, a new goal. I know it is bad to say something is never gonna happen, but this dream, this wish, it is so far from ever happening, so close to impossibleness. Now i am pursuing my new dream, my new goal, my new passion. But what is it that is missing. why is it that i still have doubts about this, or that i feel like its not satisfying enough. I am now going towards both goals, but it seems so hard, so long of a journey, so pointless in almost both directions now. My goals, my expectations for my self are so high, so hard, so unbelievable, that it is beyond what a 14 year old boy should be worrying, or caring, or thinking about. So why am i doing it, why do i continue to put my self through this. Is it because i like it or because it is just faith. No, it can't be, god wouldn't put me such pain and suffering, or is it a test? Is it a test to see how much i trust and love in him. Or maybe it is just my luck. I could greatly use your 2cents guys?
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6 comments:
Well, Simon there are a few things it could be. Your right it could be God testing you, then again he would put you threw pain and suffering because remember the Holocaust, he could have prevented that, but chose to let humans work it out on their own. Honestly, we all have a purpose, and that purpose is to live our lives as we want to live them. the reason you expectations are so high, is because you are wanting to achieve so many things, and your mind is trying to do all those at a time.
I say, you start thinking of one thought or dream, then you work yourself up. trust me i believe in you! i know you can do it Simon, any other person could make it half way, but i know you! you can make it. My dreams of having a band.. i am trying my hardest to get it ago! because its my dream and its my passion. Music is my life.
well i gotta go.
I hope this helped.
~Tyler.
U Suck thats all I gotta say!
Thanks tyler, that means a lot to me. And as far as your band goes, its gonna do more than get started, its gonna be one of the greatest, and im hear to back you up on that!!!! Thanks for the kind words. If you'll excuse me though, i need to chew this other person up real fast. SCREW YOU DUDE!!! if your gonna say you don't like me or care about me, then do it and put your name on it!!!! Don't be scared, im not gonna bite, im just gonna make sure i return the favor!
OK that probably wasn't very christian like of me, but if you don't like me, do what i said in my other blog, keep it in front of my back, cause my face doesn't want to hear it. And if you can restrain your self, at least put your name!
Simon u suck!!
Ok so i know that this isn't sarah because sarah doesn't have internet, or any way of finding out i have this blog because she isnt my friend on myspace, so you can stop hiding behind that fake name now.
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